The Body/Mind Health Corner™

with Steven Rogat

August/September 2000

Dear Steve: I have a pinched sciatica nerve in my right leg. This most recent time, it’s been bothering me for a few months. I am 28 years old. My wife and I both like our jobs. We just moved out of her parents’ home and bought our first house. I plan to return to school part-time; we can easily afford it. I am looking forward to a lot of things. We are even planning on trying to have a baby in a year or two. Physically, I feel great except for my leg. I am running a few miles almost everyday. I do yoga. I am sort of eating right. And I am in the best overall physical condition I’ve been in for years.   I first noticed my pinched nerve when I was about 21, a junior away in college. Everything seemed okay in my life then also. School was going great. I had a nice place to live. I had a nice girlfriend, good grades, a good job, and a cheap apartment. I’ve seen a chiropractor who adjusts my back and hip, but this only helps for a little while. Then, the pain returns. It especially hurts when I am inactive or sitting still for more than ten minutes.

Tired of Feeling Like my Leg is Asleep, Tom, Boise, ID

Dear Tom:  I had a history of a pinched sciatica nerve myself, so I can relate to the frustration. The legs carry us forward in life. The right leg has to do with acting on physical/material plans—job, money, career, living situation, and so on. A pinched sciatica also can relate to lower back problems. The back supports us. The lower back, being closer to the earth, supports us on our Earthly concerns—again, physical/material plans. Although your life has a lot of positive things now, there is still a lot of stress. This is finally a time in your life when you are "growing up," if there is such a thing. You are coming into your own, with a lot of associated responsibility. You may have a fear that you are not up to the task, although you sound like you have a wonderful supportive relationship. You and your wife just "left" her parents as well, and you had a hand in that. It is probably a positive change, but it is a major life change. This may have tapped into your own history of preparing, years ago, to graduate from college, and coming into your own. The junior year in college may be time to buckle down and commit to a career goal. You are doing the same now. It was also time to decide whether you would go back home or stay away. You just symbolically "left your own parents" again. Affirm you won and others’ strengths during your healing/growing process.

Positive thoughts to Manifest: I affirm the infinite support available to EVERYONE. I accept the perfect support for acting on my decisions.

Hang in There…Put Your Best Foot Forward,  Steve

Dear Steve:  My daughter has anorexia. She is just plain afraid of eating and gaining weight. We’ve tried to convince her to eat. We have tried to coerce her, force her, even bribe her. She started seeing a therapist a while ago. She was even hospitalized and fed intravenously for awhile so she could recover. She realized that if she didn’t clear it up she could die. She is now "maintaining," but we can see that it hasn’t cleared up completely. It’s always hanging over our heads. If we don’t stay on top of things, she will go back to not eating again. She is 15, a straight A student in school, has some nice friends, and is a fairly responsible person in a lot of ways. We live in a nice home. My wife and I have good jobs, but would like to spend more time with our kids. We’re working on that. The therapist has recommended family therapy, but we have only met together once so far. What can we do to help?

Tired of Force Feeding our Daughter, Alan, Madison, WI

Dear Alan:  It is good to take this condition seriously because it is life threatening. Anorexia nervosa, in which a person does not eat, can have various causes—peer pressure to be "beautiful," an urge to be physically fit (oddly enough), proving that SHE is the one in control of her life. The end result is the same—losing strength, self-confidence, and self-efficacy. Your daughter may have a learned injunction against being strong. She may be getting a message from you and/or your wife that she should be independent, but not too independent…strong, but not too strong…decisive, but not too decisive…think for herself, but think this way. She may even have accomplished much in her life to please others, but still be unsure of what WILL please others. Instead of trying to avoid the unhealthy situation, it is time to focus on her strengths and positive goals—healthy goals that please HER, whether or not they lead to long –term success. Be aware of not "pulling the rug out from under her" when she has goals or successes. Don’t be "proud" of her. Rather, be happy for her. There is a big difference between the two. Problem-solve with her about ways to reach her goals, even little ones. Do not overly judge possibly limiting solutions. Basically, support her on her strengths, instead of being threatened by them. Do not belittle her weaknesses. Follow through on family therapy WITH YOUR WIFE AS WELL! Support your daughter DAILY on the following affirmation.

Positive Thought for Her to Manifest: Positive Thought for Her to Manifest: I accept my strengths and I ALLOW others (my friends and family) to feel safe with that.

Added Responsibility Also Means Added Privileges (Right?),   Steve