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managing change—June 2008

by Jennifer Conaway, CTACC, CCP | Email me if you questions or comments | Back to List of Articles

Getting Started With Managing Change: The Changes That Impact Our Lives

Welcome to the first Innerchange column about transitions.  What do I mean by transitions?  Transitions are the big changes in your life, such as:  marriage, divorce, the birth of a child, or the death of a loved one. My name is Jennifer Conaway and my intent is to share skills you can use to move through the transitions you experience.

Every month I will discuss a particular type of transition and a step, or steps, which may help you move through that transition successfully. I will specifically address impacts and outcomes of many of life’s common transitions. Some of them will seem like basic common sense, and many of them are. Yet, when you are in the midst of a life-changing event, it is surprisingly common to lose hold of the most basic positive activities.

You will learn about my personal journey. In many ways it will reflect your own journey, and in many ways your experience will be completely unique. I have had the privilege of coaching individuals through a variety of changes in their lives. In all cases, common threads rise to the surface. At the end of the day we are all human, we are all gifted with emotions, logic, and experience. How we manage that triad determines how we experience each change. (Note: I will use the word change as a synonym for transition.)

Of course, some transitions are ‘easier’ than others. The decision to purchase a new car while the old one is still running well is less taxing than the urgency to replace the car that just quit by the side of the road. How you view a transition, or more importantly, how you choose to view it, will greatly impact your ability to easily maintain forward motion, capitalize on opportunities, and to move through the potentially negative pieces with minimal trauma and effort. After all, that is the goal- to get to the other side as smoothly, easily, gracefully and positively as possible.

Let’s talk about choices for a moment. We make choices every day- sometimes consciously, sometimes simply by not acting. When faced with a change the choices you make are extremely important. From the beginning, the way you view the change will have an immediate impact on how you handle the situation. You have the choice to view any change from the perspective of a victim, from a place of anger or hurt, from a place of love and peace, or the perspective of someone who is willing to take charge and make the best of any situation. Having successfully navigated potentially traumatic changes, I realize you make choices and then question them. It is human to question your choice, but know the outlook you have will affect the ease with which you navigate the transition.

Our experience of a transition impacts us to a greater or lesser degree. What do I mean? For many of us a job change is a relatively simple thing. You want to try a different skill set so you change roles within your organization. You are tired of the current company so you move to a different company. The impacts to your life may not be large. Sure, there is some stress with a new job of any kind, but it certainly isn’t life changing. Unless that new company thinks you are fabulous and promotes you every other week, now that can be life changing!

The specific conditions of a change may have a huge impact on your transition. I would argue that anyone who experiences a divorce is affected to a great degree. Whether you acknowledge the impact is a completely different issue. If you learn from the transition you can be greatly affected. If you float through without consciously acknowledging the effect the impact is not as great. The key is to grab hold of the positive aspects of the change, learn from the negative impacts, and move forward.

One of the gifts and challenges of transitions is how we manage the intricacies of the transition. Ask yourself- Do you hold on to the positive outcomes? Do you sense and capitalize on the opportunities? Do you see only the worst possible scenario and the negative pieces of the transition? How do you confront the ‘hard’ parts? Do you rise to the challenge? Or run away from the difficulty? Are you leaning into the transition? Or pulling away?

Every individual’s journey is unique. The opportunity is to learn from our previous transitions, those who have been impacted by a similar transition, or who shine brightly at the end of their transition and… apply those lessons learned. I am happy to raise your awareness, to share ideas, and skills that have worked for my clients and me, but at the end of the day we all must apply those skills independently. We each have responsibility for how we view, approach, and move through our personal transitions. Arming yourself with the knowledge is half of the process, the other half, perhaps the bigger half, is successfully navigating to the other side. The intent of the information I offer is to let you know you are not alone and you can successfully move through any transition.

My request is that you open yourself to different experiences, to the possibility that taking control has many variations, and realize that with consistent and conscious attention to the steps you take every day you can successfully navigate any transition in your life.

Next month I’ll expand on the topic of control and what that means within the context of transitions. We’ll take a look at a transition I am intimately familiar with – leaving the corporate world to start my own business and one step that made that transition successful.  See you next month!

by Jennifer Conaway, CTACC, CCP | Email me if you questions or comments | Back to List of Articles