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managing change—January 2009

by Jennifer Conaway, CTACC, CCP | Email me if you questions or comments | Back to List of Articles

Find Your Fans - Part1

By Jennifer Conaway, CTACC, CCP

Over the last 10 years I’ve learned how important it is to surround myself with a group of individuals that provide support. I like to think of this support group as my own personal Fan Club, it sounds more interesting than having ‘supporters’. I call them a Fan Club because not everyone in this group is a close personal friend or family. I include anyone who is willing to provide support, advice, a kind word, and an interesting idea, to have a conversation about the current state of the business or is willing to share their latest success (or failure) story. Fan Clubs grow and change with the times, include people you are close to and those you barely know. They flux and change just as your need for support will change over time.

Surrounding yourself with support can be the key to getting through the difficult times within a transition. Even the smoothest transition has some bumps and having people around you to provide encouragement and support can help you make difficult decisions, to keep moving forward and to maintain a positive attitude.

Your Fan Clubs ability to provide advice, a shoulder to cry on, or to celebrate a victory can help mark the phases of your transition and provide validation of the steps you have taken.

There are times when those we hope would support us are not capable of rising to that challenge. That is not a judgment, it simply is. We are all humans and capable of only so much at any one time. Your desire may be that a specific person is supportive of you, while their situation simply may not allow that, at this time. You must accept, respect and allow that outcome. They may become a strong supporter over time as their life allows. The same is true for us, there are times when we are not capable of supporting someone the way they would like us to or they way we would like to support them.

I was recently working with a client who seemed very unhappy. We took some time to try to uncover why he, we’ll call him ‘Bill’, was feeling that way. Bill’s life was in flux on many levels. In particular, Bill believed he was not supporting some close friends to the best of his ability. With everything else going on in his life he felt too drained at the end of the day to be an energetic supporter. Bill decided to ask his friends how they felt about his support. The revelation Bill received was wonderful. His friends were grateful for his smallest word of support. They understood that his life was in transition and were happy to receive the support Bill could give. Remember that the small support you give or receive is just as precious as the huge amount of support another friend might provide.

You may also find that individuals you know only socially may step forward as strong supporters providing a previously untapped source of support. Don’t hesitate to reach out to people who may be able to provide advice. Expand your thoughts regarding where support can be found. Many times we hear stories about how people in business will not support one another- it’s a dog eat dog world, you have to be out there for yourself! My experience, and the experience of others I know, proves this theory incorrect. Reach out, ask questions, and open up to the idea that while you are searching for support you may be able to provide support to someone else! Most people are flattered when you ask for their advice. You may feel hesitant to ask those you barely know for their thoughts, I did.

As I was preparing to leave the corporate environment I started asking people in my chosen career for advice. I was amazed at the response! Trust me when I say that they were not only flattered but were willing to have a long conversation with me. I started to reach out. I joined organizations that were aligned with my new career. Then I started talking to the individuals in those organizations. The results were amazing! Here were people who were happy to share information with me, to give me tips on how to successfully move forward. Some of them even checked in with me weeks or months after we first spoke!

I was delighted to find that I could provide support to some of them, thereby creating a mutually supportive relationship. Those relationships have been closer and lasted longer than one-way relationships.

I am not saying one-way relationships are not beneficial. They just don’t seem to last as long and I strongly encourage that you look for ways to support those who have supported you. I also suggest putting the concept of ‘pay it forward’ into action. I strive to support others as I have been supported and that sometimes means I am the supporter in a one-way relationship.

If you do come across someone who has no interest in sharing information don’t be offended or upset. Sometimes people are not in a space to be able to support you. Move on and do not let it deter you from finding more supporters.
Join me next month for more discussion on Finding Your Fans and how to communicate with individuals who do not support you.

by Jennifer Conaway, CTACC, CCP | Email me if you questions or comments | Back to List of Articles