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The Aware Parent—september 2008

by Wendy Mann, BS | Email me if you questions or comments | Back to List of Articles

Getting Started With the Aware Parent: emotionally preparing for parenting, part 2

In my previous column I invited you to explore how you were parented by your parents or primary caregivers and how that has played a role in your life. I held out several questions for you to ponder and write about in your preparenting/parenting journal (known as the prebirth journal in my previous columns). I am now going to invite you to do a deep self-study of your own psyche and self and how your own patterns, behaviors, thoughts, perspectives, attitudes, etc., may affect your parenting and your future child/children. 

“The most important factors in the life of children are not the schools, the television sets, the playmates or the neighborhoods, but what the parents cherish, what they hate and what they fear.” — Thomas Hora

Before I hold out some questions for you to explore, I invite you to take a few deep, cleansing breaths and center your being. When you feel peaceful and open to allowing your interior insights to surface, slowly begin to dive into the questions below. It is of the utmost importance that you are radically honest with who you are and not who you think you should be or want to be. Open your journal, be authentic, and witness what you are unearthing.

  • Who are you?
  • What beliefs do you hold about yourself that are positive, and how are they expressed?
  • What negative beliefs do you hold about yourself, and how are they expressed?
  • Do you love yourself? How do you express your self-love?
  • Do you keep or break your agreements with yourself? Why?
  • Do you take things personally? Why?
  • Are you reactionary? How are your reactions manifested?
  • How do you express anger? Do you yell, hit or throw things? Why?
  • Do you tell the truth to yourself and others? If not, what issues have you been untruthful about? Why?
  • Are you judgmental?
  • Are you impeccable with your word? (This comes from “The Four Agreements” by Miguel Ruiz, which I recommend reading.)
  • Do you minimize your feelings? If so, how?
  • Do you minimize your wisdom and or knowledge of issues in front of others? If so, how and why?
  • Do you criticize or degrade yourself or others? If so, how and why?
  • Are you abusive to yourself? If so, how and why?
  • Do you feel empowered to express the full range of your feelings? If not, why?
  • Are you happy?
  • Are you connected to the inner landscape of your being?
  • Do you accept that you are fully and completely 100% responsible for how you create your life? If not, why?
  • Do you blame others?
  • Do you choose to live in denial and illusions?
  • Are you open to the beauty of your life?
  • Are you open to the lessons of your life?
  • Do you make life choices based from fear?
  • Is who you reveal to the world different from who you truly are behind closed doors? Why?
  • Are you hypocritical?
  • Are you manipulative?
  • Can you forgive yourself and others? If not, why?
  • Do you have a positive self image? Why or why not?
  • Do you feel you would be a good role model for your child/children? Why or why not?
  • Are you ready to become a conscious parent?
  • What patterns do you recognize about yourself that you want to change as to not pass them down to your child/children? What patterns do you want to pass down? Why?
  • Now, who are you, and what work are you willing to embrace to become healthier and more conscious?
 

These are very potent questions to explore, and the answers are potent as well. Take your time with them, and allow them to be inspirations for other questions and thought-provoking insights to flow within you. Know that the answers are keys to your own personal growth. Breathe, and be gentle with yourself.

I also invite you to begin a practice of affirmations. You can start with something simple like “I am a beautiful and wonderful woman or man.” (This affirmation is from my healer, friend and therapist, John Breckenridge.) Start by saying this to yourself all day long and out loud to yourself in a mirror. Feel inspired to elaborate. Write down how you feel when you see yourself in the mirror and how you feel when you are referring to yourself as beautiful and wonderful.

Enjoy the power of the journey you have so wisely chosen. 

I will leave you with some lovely words from Louise Hay: 

In the infinity of life where I am,

All is perfect, whole, and complete.

Each one of us, myself included, experiences the richness

And fullness of life in ways that are meaningful to us.

I now look at the past with love and choose

To learn from my old experiences and my present moments.

There is no right or wrong, nor good or bad.

The past is over and done.

There is only the experience of the moment.

I love myself for bringing myself

Through this past into this present moment.

I share what and who I am,

For I know we are all one in spirit.

All is well in my world. 

Much love and support,
Wendy Mann

by Wendy Mann, BS | Email me if you questions or comments | Back to List of Articles

Disclaimer: The information in my column is not intended to be a substitute for parents’ own, best judgment or a substitute for medical opinion and treatment.